Tuesday, July 5, 2011

INVASION OF THE CHAFE MONSTER!

I was hoping this could be a miracle post on EricG's Running Tips, but instead it is a plea for help.  According to Websters, "Chafe is to rub and thereby cause wear or irritation".  According to me it's to create a form of fire that has no definition and can generate enough heat when mixed with water to make me scream like my 17th month old daughter in the shower.  I have tried all different types of clothing and lubricants to fend off the dreaded chafe monster and none seem to be a formidable opponent for humidity and rain as this is the fuel by which the chafe monster thrives.

First let's discuss where cruel and stealthy chafe assaults are likely to occur.  How about everywhere!!!  First the obvious; nipples and inner thighs.  Second and perhaps less obvious but no less painful, your neck, under arms, ankles and this weekend right across my waste as if the chafe were trying to saw me in half.  And last but certainly not least the most cruel and unusual, the butt crack(known as fire butt), under the jewels, on the jewels (known as fire b***s) and my wife was attacked by the chafe recently under her jewels.  Is nothing sacred? 

Only area suitable for public viewing!
During Umstead I was diligent in my preventative maintenance throughout the race and was excited to have come through cleanly.  Only to discover when I got back to the hotel that I had been savagely and precisely targeted under the tag on the back of my shorts.  It was so bad I actually had to peal the tag off as it was literally stuck to my burning skin like glue.  Then this weekend after 2 days of hot, humid and rainy weather I was viciously mauled by an entire family of chafe monsters on the inner, the under the over and so on.  After spending the last 48 hours walking as if I just got off a horse I decided to send out this desperate plea.

So I ask the question, has anyone solved the mystery of the chafe monster?  Where do they come from?  How do we stop them?  Please share your methods for preventing the INVASION OF THE CHAFE MONSTER!

My methods are as follows and work on occasion to varying degrees.
  1. Vaseline or Body Glide in all the right places:  I have had some success however when it gets hot, humid or rains it does not seem to work well at all.
  2. Compression shorts:  These do well to stop the inner thigh assaults but seem to open the door for all other areas below the belt.
  3. Nipple Guards:  Work well but obviously have a limited range.
I hope someone out there has the magic.  Peace

10 comments:

  1. Do you wear that wool sweater made out of horse hair all the time? That may have something to do with it.

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  2. This is a post I cannot offer much help on. The only chaffing I've struggled with is down below the belt, in the lower reproductive section. All I can say is get a good pair of underwear. As for other body parts you speak of, good luck!

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  3. OB I certainly deserve that one for posting that photo.

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  4. Quite a simple solution for most of these . . . Disitin! That's right . . . the diaper rash stuff. Works great as both a preventative and as a treatment. Magic stuff.

    The nopple issue may require a different approach. I use cheap, plastic surgical tape. You may want to shave some hair off just around you nipple. But just tear off 1/2 - 1 inch of tape and apply. I leave mine on for several days at a time. Comes off easier then you might think.

    TripleF

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  5. Thanks to the newborns I have been raiding the diaper rash cream. It works wonders. Not only removing the pain after a shower but doesnt sting when it is applied.

    By the way, let me know if there are some spots you are having trouble reaching. Always happy to help.

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  6. I have started running sans underwear and outfitting in non-cotton clothing. A liberal dose of a moisturizing cream caps off my preparations.
    The cotton underwear and t-shirts seem to have been the culprit in my case.

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  7. I was afraid to open this posting. Even with the PG picture, it hurts to look at it! Like the others, I do the body glide/vaseline combo. I used to put my clothes in the dryer (rookie mistake) which made the elastic harden quicker and cause chaffing- so hang to dry it is in our house!

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  8. Desitin works to heal the skin but does not prevent the chaffe- plus, it sort of smells terrible. I go with the chamois butt'r- got me through marathon training and that was some BAD chaffing that shall not be discussed further. :(

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  9. Forget the shirt and experiment with shorts until you find the best fit. Usually, high quality shorts with built in liner does the job.

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